Name: Hissheart (Please keep in mind that there is a Sneezekit in the books)

{S{I don’t find the Sneezekit/paw argument to be very valid. Sneeze- isn’t a good prefix either- being canon doesn’t mean it has good connotations or makes sense.

Hiss- doesn’t have good connotations, does not make much sense, and isn’t defended by canon.

Sneezekit was named because he got sick after birth/was allergic to the moss. His name doesn’t describe him, if anything it just references an incident after his birth. It’s silly-sounding, kind of embarrassing, and an exception that really shouldn’t be followed nor used to rationalize other off-the-norm prefixes.

In the case of Hiss-, what is the reasoning behind this? Did he hiss after birth? Cats hiss. Why would a queen name their kitten after a noise- let alone a distressed one- they make at birth? We don’t have any Mewkits or Meowkits.

tldr; Sneeze- is not a good prefix, Hiss- is not a good prefix. Sneeze- is unfortunately canon, Hiss- is not. I would not recommend using either. However, it is your cat and you can name him as you wish, but I can’t think of any good reason for a cat to have the prefix Hiss-.}}

{R{The way I look at it, its like saying all electric type pokemon are immune to ground because of emolga.

In canon cats, 99.9% of cats are named for their looks, the outliers are because of some joke the Erins were playing (i.e. Runningnose, Berrynose) or getting lazy (Onewhisker, Sneezekit, Bumblekit).                It is comparable to saying “My grandpa smokes and has no health issues, which means I too can smoke and get no health issues”. Almost all people who smoke get health issues, so people should abstain from smoking. Almost all cats in warriors are names after looks, so people should name then after their looks.

Its like those ladies who name their kids outrageous things and expect them to not get made fun of outside of their little circle who accept it. (Ponyboy in the Outsiders, the Soc group made fun of his name a couple times if I can remember correctly)

You don’t have to go traditional, as long as everyone can get a good picture of your cat from the name. Hiss is a sounds, I cannot tell anything about the cat from a sound. All cats hiss.

Its just a little too silly for me, especially since adder- would work purrfectly well. :c }}

Gender: Tom
Appearance: Light-brown pelt with darker marks at his paw tips, his ear tips, and his tail tip. Amber eyes.
Clan: FoundClan
Rank/Allignment: Deputy
Age: 30 moons(Two and a half years)
History: A long time before Hissheart was born, Fallenstorm(The RodentClan deputy) fell in love with Halfeye(The FoundClan deputy). As she fell more and more in love with the cat from FoundClan, she unhinged more and more, to the point where she killed her mate(The leader) to have her word become law. Halfeye soon became Halfstar and found a mate. Six moons after his daughter(Cloudypaw) and Hisspaw were born, Fallenstar admitted that she had always loved Halfstar. Halfstar viciously let her down, saying that he would never love a cat from another clan. After Fallenstar went back to camp, she was driven out(But a few cats respected her and left the clan with her). I haven’t got much for Hissheart’s apprenticeship, other than he and Cloudypaw became good friends, and Hisspaw always felt responsible for her. Cloudypaw was in love with Snowpaw, and Hisspaw falls in love with Treepaw. Marigoldpaw(Who is a villian) falls in love with Hisspaw, Morningpaw(Hisspaw’s sister) is a medicine cat, Brownpaw(Marigoldpaw’s jumpy brother) is there, and Hisspaw rejects Marigoldpaw. They get their warrior names(Cloudyfern, Hissheart, Snowfoot, Marigoldpelt, Brownfur, Morningdew, and Treecloud) and Gloweyes(Please give me another name for the loyal deputy) is mysteriously murdered.

{S+R{

fallenstorm/star- As pretty as fallenstar sounds, you may want to rename. Fallen- tells me nothing about her, at all. Except that she fell from something or falls a lot, and even so she shouldn’t have exhibited this after birth. If you want to imply that she has fallen into evil, if she’s light brown or tortie Maple- would be nice. Like a fallen maple leaf. Or Acorn- if she is brown, because they fall from oak trees.
halfeye/star- We suppose this could work as a rename, if he was injured near his eyes and he can no longer close or open one of them all the way.
cloudyfern- -fern isn’t traditional, but you’re not going for that anyway. Cloudy- makes me think of the clouded or cloudy pattern found on wild domestic hybrids. So they would have to be a kittypet or just Cloud-.
snowfoot- Purrfectly fine, white kitty that is fast
treecloud- Ehh this one is iffy, some tree bark appears grey, some appears brown, some has speckles, stripes, or patches. I would be more specific as to the type of tree.
marigoldpelt- eh, as long as they have lots of marigolds growing in their territory
brownfur- purrfectly fine, average brown (tabby) kitty
morningdew- -dew isn’t traditional, but morning- tells me they have bright but pale pelt, like a golden tabby or dilute tortie.
gloweyes- I’m glad you realize this one is silly too. If you want him to seem sacrificial maybe Sheep- something. He could be white or black and white. Bright yellow eyes if you so desire. (and even curly fur if he has kittypet heritage) If he’s a deputy he is probably good at something. Sheepclaw, Sheepnose, Sheepfoot… }}

Cloudyfern is deputy for a while,and you find out that Marigoldpelt is in cahoots with Fallenstar. At this point, they think that Hissheart is in love with Cloudyfern, so some of Fallenstar’s followers ambush a patrol(Hissheart, Cloudyfern, Snowfoot, and Brownfur). They fight them off, but Snowfoot falls over a cliff into a valley of sharp rocks. Cloudyfern tries to jump forward to save him, but Hissheart holds her back. Snowfoot is dead. (But Cloudyfern is pregnant and there are no other cats ready to take the place of deputy) So after a moon, Halfstar dies of old age. Cloudyfern is obviously close to kitting, but she insists that even if she doesn’t have a patrol with her, she’ll go to the MoonTree(Imagine that Pixie Hollow tree (Actually please don’t)) So Hissheart and Morningdew go with her and- surprise surprise- she gives birth. Two kits are born, but one of them dies. The other one looks exactly like Snowfoot, and Cloudyfern names it Snowkit after her late mate. Anyways, they keep going and eventually they get to the MoonTree. Cloudyfern becomes Cloudystar, they go home, and Hissheart is named deputy. After a few moons of being deputy, a battle with FrondClan starts and Marigoldpelt attacks Hissheart in a closed-off space. She kills him and he’s dead. Eventually after that Marigoldpelt and Fallenstorm are defeated and all is good except Hissheart died.

{R{ It still sounds very soap-opera-y to me ;;. It seems like a lot of hubbub about unrequited love, and my question is, how did Fallentar get cats to follow her? What did she even do to make them justify killing their leader to get with another leader. Respect shouldn’t be higher then the warrior code. What was there to respect after everything came to light? Tom-crazed deputy killed her mate to get a better one? That doesn’t sound like something a respectable leader, worthy of trust, authority, and a position as role model would do. Also, I couldn’t exactly follow all the romance-y stuff, this story is super saturated with it and it kind of just ruins the tale. Can you add more to it and take some of it away? Mix in more battles, meaningful friendships, occult happenings, natural disasters, anything to give us a break from the love/deceit/murder shenanigans. Its fine to have them but if that is all the story is about then  it won’t seem interesting to a lot of people. Its is hard to work through this, especially if this is how you want the story line to go, just keep trying!
Both of us are still iffy on the name of FoundClan, all clans are found. The others, I see now, are named after cats plus they contain ferns and rodents (although you should really specify which rodent the founding cat looked like. Rat, Mouse, shrew..). I think on the old one you said FoundClan was forest? Maybe ForestClan? TreeClan? WoodClan? Or if there is anything else super cool in it you could name it after that.

Also, I really love the idea or a Moontree. Maybe instead of looking like the Pixie Dust tree is has spider webs on it, and the webs collect dew at night that shines under the moonlight. Maybe is has a speciall little hollow the cat goes in where they watch a particular web until they fall into their trance.}}

Personality: Hissheart is a loyal cat with strong faith in StarClan and in his clanmates. He isn’t fickle, but he can get too loyal to something.(causing him to be murdered off guard.) Thanks in advance, and I think I’ve improved on him.

{S{ He sounds a little bland, try spicing him up! Also, he doesn’t match the description of a -heart cat. A -heart cat is incredibly devoted to their ideals and will often speak out on their opinions. It is very noteworthy, and can get other cats to do the right thing or get them in trouble when their ideals are harmful. :c}}

{R{ “too loyal” I think a better way to phrase that is naive, which means too eager to believe in someone/something or so innocent they hurt themselves. But I reiterate what S says, he seems too average. He’s getting in “Average boy main-character” territory. Give him some silly quirks! Since you seem so adamant about hiss maybe he hisses a lot or has a bad attitude! >:3 }}

{{All in all, it still needs some work! Keep up the improving! }}

~S+R

If pawsible, could you both do a review? I hope this isn’t too long. Thanks! :3

(Yeah, you’ll probably recognize this as a cat an anon was asking about a couple days ago…sorry if I seem spammy)

{R{ Its fine man, we love productive spam}}

Name: Featherclaw (I’m aware the name will sound contradictory, but she was given the -claw suffix in reference to her hunting skills - “claws that no prey can escape”)

{R{ Alrighty, -claw is fine, but what does Feather- say? All kittens are born with soft fur, and feathers can be any color :c. If you want something soft sounding, maybe Cherry-, Ember-, or Maple-?}}

{S{ -claw seems strange for a cat who is a poor fighter, you said she is a great hunter though, and quick. Maybe -foot for speed or -whisker for hunting, whichever is her most prominent talent}}

{R{ *Seconds this*}}

Gender: she-cat

Appearance: Longhaired tortoiseshell and white with particularly soft fur, blue eyes.

Clan: RiverClan, former WindClan

Rank: Warrior

Age: 54 moons (4.5 years)

History: Featherclaw and her brother Owlfur were born in WindClan, but no cat knew who their father was. Their mother, a brown and white tabby named Robinheart, had chosen not to reveal the father because he was actually the RiverClan deputy, Ripplesplash. When she was still a kit, she wanted to be a medicine cat, but unfortunately, WindClan’s current medicine cat, Honeywhisker, already had an apprentice. Featherpaw was eventually apprenticed to Sunfoot, a laid back and jovial senior warrior who nevertheless wasn’t exactly the most popular cat in the clan. During her training, Featherpaw slowly revealed herself to be a fast, skilled hunter, but a very poor fighter. She was often teased by the other apprentices for this, though her brother always stood up for her.

{R{What does the -splash mean in Ripplesplash?}}

{S{There is already a Sunfoot in warriors}}

Sunfoot guessed that she might be half-clan when she once accidentally fell into the lake chasing a rabbit and barely seemed to mind getting wet. Near the end of her apprenticeship, she met a RiverClan tom named Hawkfire at a a Gathering, and was intrigued by his calm, confident personality. They began meeting at Gatherings and in secret quite often, and they soon found themselves in love. Featherpaw was torn between her loyalty to her clan and her love for Hawkfire, especially after she and her brother earned their names. Sunfoot had suggested the -claw name for Featherclaw because “she’s taken the ferocity she could use for harming other cats and channeled it all into a skill that serves the whole clan.”

{R{ What does the -fire in Hawkfire mean? Passionate? Opinionated? -heart is there for that! :3}}

When her brother Owlfur surprised the entire clan by running off with a ShadowClan she-cat, her mother was devastated and fell into a deep depression. In her grief, she revealed that Featherclaw and Owlfur were half-clan. Featherclaw found herself at the brunt of WindClan’s scorn and finally decided enough was enough. At the next Gathering, she left with RiverClan, not WindClan, and has lived there ever since with her mate. They have had two litters - a trio of toms named Swiftfoot, Duskcloud, and Rushfur, and a second batch of apprentices with one tom named Foxpaw and two she-cats named Smallpaw and Morningpaw.


{R{ Oh dear there are quite a few clan crossing here, especially to Riverclan and Shadowclan. Riverclan is more willing to accept current warriors then kittypets/rogues/loners but I’m not so sure about Shadowclan, Tawnypelt was a special situation and the other cats never really liked her.}

{S{ So did Owlfur leave the clans or join Shadowclan? I’m a little confused, please clarify}}

Personality: Featherclaw is quite timid and indecisive, but she is also very kind and unwaveringly loyal to those she cares about. She felt like she never really had a place in WindClan, though she still misses the openness of the territory and the plentiful supply of rabbits. She occasionally doubts her place in RiverClan too, but is overall much happier there than she had been in WindClan. She has a tendency to worry too much and is concerned that the RiverClan leader doesn’t trust her, since he hasn’t given her an apprentice since she joined RiverClan, but has given her kits and mate apprentices. She secretly wishes she could be as confident as her brother had been, and regrets adding to her mother’s depression and causing her to think that she was being punished by StarClan. She tries to avoid Gatherings whenever possible to avoid running in to her old Clanmates. She is becoming a decent fisher and hopes that, if she continues to contribute to RiverClan, she’ll eventually feel fully accepted. She has attempted to connect with her father, who is still the deputy, and though he’d initially had no idea that he had kits in WindClan, their relationship is one of polite friendliness.

{R{This sounds fine but I would like to know how her and her brother convinced the other clans to let them join or if there were any special circumstances like, maybe overcrowding in Windclan or population scarcity in Shadowclan and Riverclan.

There is a lot of changing clans and cross-clan relationships, you seem to be handling it pretty realistically though, she has doubts and isn’t fully trusted, but try to wield this really well or she could get called out as a sue or that this is only one of those “power of love” stories}}

{S{ Interesting story! you have a good start here, just handle it with care! :3}}

Name: Hisspelt (So it’s not a very plausible name, but I do like it a lot)

Yeah, that’s.. That’s not a plausible name. You might be attached to it but I really do suggest changing it. There’s like a million and a half cool prefixes for brown cats, I’m sure you can find something you like.
Gender:  Tomcat
Appearance: He used to be a light-brown tabby, but he became light-brown with darker markings

With a pelt like that, his fur won’t be changing much at all- especially not after he’s old enough to be an apprentice. At most, his markings might have gotten a little darker but only when he was still a kit.
Clan:  FoundClan, because my sense of originality is higher than my sense of good names

Unless you have a relevant backstory for this, Foundclan is not an acceptable name for a clan.
Rank/Allignment: He dies as deputy
Age: 6 moons at the beginning of the story, dies at 16

That’s a bit young for a deputy. At 16 moons he’d still be a new warrior.
History: He was born in the nursery, as any other FoundClan cat. His kithood is normal. But then there’s the gathering. FoundClan lives in the same forest as two other clans, FrondClan and RodentClan. At the gathering, the leader of RodentClan, Fallenstar, confesses her love to the leader of FoundClan, Halfstar. Halfstar declines her feelings, as he has a mate and is worthy to his clan and the warrior code. Fallenstar throws a fit, consisting of her yelling at Halfstar, almost attacking Halfstar’s mate, and declaring war on FoundClan. (But she’s exiled by her clan after they get back from the gathering). Anywho, Halfstar has one daughter named X-fur(Again, a stupid name) Yadayadayada, the deputy dies, X-fur is made deputy, Her mate commits suicide, Halfstar dies, X-fur gives birth to her kit while going to the moonfield to get her nine lives, Hisspelt is made deputy, a couple of moons pass, Hisspelt is killed. moo

This story get’s a biiit far-fetched. Fallenstar must be getting pretty old and crazy if she’s deciding she’s going to blatantly break the warrior code in front of everyone so she can confess her love to another clan’s cat who already has a mate. It’s.. possible, I guess, but you’ll have to pull it off well because Fallenstar must be losing it.

As a note on the Moonfield, remember that there will have to be something in the field for the kitties to interact with! Like how the kitties at the Moonpool had to drink from the pool or touch their noses to the water before they could get their visions.
Personality: He’s unbelievably loyal to X-star

Is this all he has to his purrsonality? Every warrior has to be incredibly loyal to their leader, surely there’s more to him than just this!

Alright, all in all, your story and kitties certainly need some work. The only three names here that are plausible are Moonfield, Halfstar and Frondclan. Keep in mind, Halfstar only works if he had a name change as a warrior to something like Halftail or Half-ear, and Frondclan only works if the land there has lots of ferns and such.

Regardless, you’ve got to change some of these names. I know it’s easy to get attached to them but that’s no excuse for giving your kitties names that you know don’t work. :< And for the love of Starclan please tell me that the X in X-star is just a placeholder. Warriors don’t have a written language, and even if they did I doubt it would be the Latin alphabet.

We’re more than happy to assist you in any renaming, should you choose to do it! Ailuronymy’s prefix list is incredibly helpful for these things.

~S

Name: Chris [In a random generator I got the name Littleflare and it described him well but this is up for change]

Eeeeek I do not suggest using generators friend :c

He isn’t exactly a little kitty either, is he? What is flare supposed to add?
If you tried to cat-ify that name a little red cat might come to mind, but he isn’t either of those :C

Generally warrior cats are named for their looks then a further descriptor with either their skill, their purrsonality, or a further descriptor of their looks in that order.

You describe him as being a dark grey kitty, so shadow-,night-, stone-, dark-, shade-, storm-, rock-, rain-, hail-, could work as the first part. But this, of course, will change if you wish to alter his appearance. (and if you choose to do so drop his new looks in your ask and we will help you again! :3 )

You didn’t particularly mention any outstanding skills in the personality or history, but his personality seems like he could be a -heart cat: a cat who has a strong belief in themselves and idealist notions about right and wrong, or a -storm kitty: a cat with a stormy, unpredictable nature.

Ehhh names are hard. Ailuronymy has some interesting ideas on it, if you would like a second opinion. (Plus they specialize in names!)

Gender: Tom [I do sometimes RP as a she-cat as well]
Appearance: [This is how I described him though I may add some changes. Note: he was based off an OC of mine so some of the coloring comes from his original image] A small dark grey tom with brilliant blue-green eyes. His soft, fuzzy pelt is covered in barely noticeable black stripes, only really visible when he steps out in the sun light, and his large ears are rimmed with a strange olive-like color. The only parts of him that aren’t grey or black are his toes, tail tip, muzzle and underbelly which are white.

I’m afraid these markings aren’t possible, but a similar pattern that would be quite possible since he has quite a bit of kittypet heritage is blue lynx point. Like here  and here. It’s even possible for him to have white paws and such.

If you don’t like then maybe a grey tabby or brown tabby is in order, and those would not be able to have the crazy blue-green eyes. He could still have the white markings, though, and a brown tabby (meaning the darker kind) can have black toes or paws.

Here is a chart of possible cat colors and patterns if you wish to choose a different pelt for him.

Clan: Oakclan
Rank/Allignment: Former kittypet/loner.
Age: Mmm… He’d probably be 15 moons old, maybe a bit older.

Making him a bit older by the time is probably a good idea since he didn’t start his warrior training until pretty late.

History: [I’m still working on his story as far as making it a bit more elaborate and detailed, as he’s based off another OC of mine from a different time, but this was as far as I got down.] He was born to a kittypet mother by the name of Cross and his father, Oliver, was a sort of part-time dad as he often wandered about and would disappear for weeks on end. He was raised with his mother and a growing family (having two litter before his0 so their home was always a bit full and as nice as it was to grow up with all his brothers and sisters it did cause a lot of problems as his owner was poor and their living conditions grew poor [their owner was almost never there and they often came and went as they pleased] but one day their owner never returned and they were forced to leave their home and become alley cats with their father. As mentioned before, he wasn’t always around so they had to care for themselves though this was a bit difficult as they were mostly house cats before abandonment with some help from Oliver as he would offer hunting tips and lead them to food. Their mother became pregnant once again but this time only gave birth to one kit as she was malnourished and a little while later she died of illness leaving her kits to fend for themselves. Chris tried to teach his younger brother to fend for himself but doting on by his father and eldest brothers turned him into a spoiled brat and he grew to detest the kit that stole his mother from him as well as his father for not being able to help her. After the death of Cross, Chris put all the responsibility on himself to be better and protect his family so he watched other cats and after moons of practice learned how to be a proper alley cat and even taught these skills to his kin who mostly ate out of garbage cans and fought other alley cats for scraps. As they slowly learned proper hunting skills, they began moving away from the dirty twoleg place and lived in the forests where there was little competition and more fresh prey. It was hard and he almost lost a sibling in a harsh winter but they survived and thrived even though they were abandoned once again by their “street-smart” dad. During their wanderings they ended up on Oakclan territory where Chris and two of his kin were taken in and given shelter. Chris liked the security of the clan so after many weeks of debate, he decided to join though it was hard to make that transition and he often got a lot of sass for his former lifestyle but he worked hard and fought hard to prove that he was good enough regardless that he was the oldest of the apprentices and least talented of them but he never stopped trying until he became a full-fledged warrior. [Again still being tweaked so cannot tell what is good or not, history is a bit similar to normal one]
Personality: Since he was a little kit, Chris has always been a feisty cat and his growing up only made it even more so but under his feisty and somewhat rude demeanor, he is actually very smart and kind. He often only shows his soft side to kits and will show a great level of respect to those much older than his as well as those that have proven their worth. He used to shy away from most socializing as a young tom because of the fear that nobody really liked him or that he didn’t belong to the clan. Sometimes he still feels out of place but he knows that he is worth it as he has brains and claws to back them up. His trust is valuable so you will be smart not to break it or you’ll get burned. His mother died when he was very young while giving birth to his youngest siblings and he has a lot of siblings though he will never tell others more than that, especially if you ask about his father. He’s quite unsure around cats he doesn’t know and if forced to interact with them it could lead to a bit of a cranky attitude but if you are one of the rare few he likes, he’s quite goofy and even sassy. He guards his loved ones jealously and will even hiss at anyone who looks at his mate or close friends. He is a defender of rules though the thought of things forbidden greatly interest him, but he would rarely dare to step out of his comfort zone to explore them more without great caution. Chris has very little tolerance for cats with smart mouths, disobedience and cats that bother or tease him relentlessly, expect claws and a sharp tongue if any of these things occur around him. He has pretty good patience regardless of these pet peeves and will control his anger to the best of his ability if the need be, especially around authority figures. When it comes to facing his demons, Chris is one to be blinded by his own emotions and not one who will always ask for help. Sometimes if something is really bothering him, he’d prefer to ignore it or try and figure it out himself than ask someone for help but you can tell when it is because he’ll get unusually moody and distance himself from everyone to avoid confrontation. It is best to corner him and force him to talk about his problems otherwise he’ll keep them to himself and eventually break. As a warrior he’s not quite sure what he believes in, the thought of Starclan mystifying and amazing but he’s one who would rather save the problem himself than ask for the wisdom of cats dead long before him. Regardless of this he’s quite understanding and does not question the faith of Starclan nor does he completely accept it as his family is from outside of Starclan, he believes more that wisdom does come from death but not just Starclan.

Other: A small note about him: he’s actually quite proud of his name as it’s very similar to his mother’s so he wasn’t very happy about having to change it, sometimes still going by the name.

He is a very nice character, and I can tell you put a lot of though into him, I’m sure your rp partners appreciate it.

Just some tiny tweeks on the technical stuff and he’ll be right as rain! :3

~R

Name: Rian (Clan name: Boulderpaw)
Gender: Tom
Appearance: Silver and cream tabby with copper eyes and a short, compact build. Very strong.

What you are describing is a dilute tortoishelle, and male tortoiseshells are extremely rare and when they do occur, they are sterile. Just a heads up.
Clan: Thunderclan (old forest)
Rank/Allignment: Apprentice
Age: 25 moons
History: *Same situation as Alex, sorry :$*
Personality: Rian is on the quiet side, and usually won’t give his opinion unless prompted. He’s patient and smart, willing to wait long amounts of time to get what he wants. Although, these traits don’t make him a pushover. In battle he is a fierce opponent who could leave you with some nasty wounds.  He spends a lot of his free time training and pushing himself(physically), he isn’t exactly known for being social. He doesn’t feel the need to be the center of attention and is happy in observing the antics of his quirky friends. If you can get him to open up, he is actually a very sweet kitty, and has a soft spot for kits. He’s handsome, but she-cats usually mistake his quiet demeanor for being uninterested or bored, which leads to him sometimes feeling lonely in the mate department.

This one is very nice too!

If you don’t plan on him having kits it will be fine for him to be a tortoiseshell, just research this a bit. For him to actually be a tortoiseshell he must have Feline Klinefelter’s syndrome, which may come with some other draw backs. 

If you do plan on him having kits, and partial to his coloration, Genetic Mosacism is another option, also mentioned in the above link.

Good luck!

~R

(I would like a review for him because he’s the main narrative point of my fic)

Name: Alex (Clan name later: Lionpaw)
Gender: Tom
Appearance: A bit on the small side, but noting really unusual. As far as coloration, he looks a lot like an amber norwegian forest cat with dark copper eyes and thick feathering fur around his neck
Clan: Joins Thunderclan (old forest)
Rank/Allignment: When Alex Joins Thunderclan with his friends, they would be old enough to be young warriors, but have no experience so they are apprentices for the time being

Age: 23 Moons

History: *I can’t give much information in this field because, um, reasons.. sorry* His best friends are Jack, Zach, and Rian. He is particularly close to Jack.

Personality: A bit silly and happy-go-lucky. He normally has a tough time hunting and fighting due to his lack of focus. However, if you can get him to pay attention, he has strength and speed that can make him a formidable fighter. He’s very clever, and quite a prankster. Alex sometimes has issues taking things seriously and might even be called lazy. But, he cares very much for his friends and other cats, and will always try to cheer you up if you’re feeling down. He would to almost anything for Jack, Zach, or Rain. He’s very flirtatious with she-cats, but maybe that’s because he just hasn’t found one that he really clicks with.


This kitty seems like a cutie butt hehe.

There’s nothing wrong here, other then why him and his friend got accepted into old thunderclan, but I’m sure you explain that in the history, right?

Just make sure its beleivable, old thunderclan seems to have been much like riverclan in regaurds to accepting new kitties, so they must have been in dire need or prophesied.

Good luck with your fanfic! :3

~R.

Warning in advance that I can’t do much with little information!

So my friend wonders whether or not her OC is a good one. She didn’t give me very much info.

Name: Valleyeyes

This name does not work.

A name should describe a cat, but this name tells me nothing. :< If she is good at hunting, I believe -Whisker would be good for the suffix. -Face would also work if she is particularly pretty.
-Eye would be for a cat with particularly odd eyes, but it is usually given as a name change after the cat sustains an eye-related injury ( ie. One-eye for a cat who lost an eye )

I can’t say what her prefix should be, as I have no idea what she looks like. If you can ask your friend for more information, I can help out a bit. But Valley- doesn’t describe what she looks like.
Gender: She-cat
Appearance: (not given)
Clan: Random Fanclan on Instagram
Rank/Allignment: Warrior
Age: Probably a young warrior, around 12-14 moons old
History: Pleh, she didn’t give me a history x.x
Personality: She’s probably a good huntress, with good looks and maybe flirty. I really don’t know, seeing as she didn’t tell me.

Again, sorry for the limited info. I tried my best x.x

It’s alright, but I can’t do much reviewing with this. :< If you can ask your friend for a little more info I’d be glad to help out.

~Sunnyspots

Name: Genesis, shortened to Gen (Jen)

Gender: She-cat

Appearance: Beautiful silver and white tabby with blue eyes, a ripped left ear

Clan: loner/rouge

Alignment: N/A

Age: 14 moons

History: Genesis’s father came around every once in a while, sometimes with prey, but never seeming really interested in his daughter. Her mother, Snowflake, tried to care for her, but sometimes her temper led her to snap unfairly at her only kitten. One night, when chasing a moth, she ran out into a thunderpath. Snowflake ran out to grab Gen and got hit, breaking her neck. (this was when she was around 4 or 5 moons). A traumatized Genesis got by for about a week by eating carrion she found in the ally. When her father came around, he was enraged that her actions led to Snowflake dying. He slams her against the wall and tore her ear. He sees how she’s just afraid of him and has no intention of fighting back, and leaves in disgust. Gen, injured and afraid, takes shelter under a box and falls asleep eventually. After a while, driven by hunger, she ventures out of the box to try and look for food. It’s raining, but she spots a skinny rat. She runs after it, and accidentally crashes into two cats. At first she’s terrified, and is frozen on the spot. Before she can run away, one of the cats sees that she’s very young and injured. He insists that they help the kitten, and his friend agrees. They usher her to an abandoned twoleg nest, where they’ve been staying. Their names are Vic and Kellin. Vic is a long-furred skinny brown tom with amber eyes. Kellin is a brown and white tabby with blue eyes. Vic is a bit on the sillier side, and Kellin is more serious. They aren’t related, but are close as brothers. They decided they couldn’t just let Genesis wander the streets, so they take her in as part of their “family”. They teach her how to hunt, fight, and hide from twolegs. At first she’s reluctant, but then feels the love from Vic and Kellin that she never got from her real parents. They quickly take on the role of father and big brother for the young she-cat. They instill a love of humor and adventure in her, and they become very close as she grows up. One night when Gen is on her own, she sees a twoleg garden with a temptingly full bowl of kibble. With it being leaf-bare, food is hard to come by, so she jumps at the chance. While helping herself to the food, she is interrupted by twoleg’s kittypet, Scott.

Aww, poor Gen, I’m glad she found some kitties who really love her though.

Personality: She’s feisty, witty, and has quite a daring streak. Known to be more of the “do now, think later” types. But, she’s also very sharp. Even though fun is near the top of her priority list, she would do anything for Vic or Kellin. She knows many cats, but recognizes few as friends. Some may say she’s reckless or careless, but she has a good heart and inner compass, and ultimately will try to do the right thing. (Sorry I feel like I did a really bad job of explaining her personality ._.)

I guess Vic and Kellin aren’t the most strict surrogate parents are they? Hehe.

Once again ,has she ever had any run-ins with clan cats, and if so what does she think of them? What does she think of Scotty? Does she think as highly of Scotty as he does of her?

Also first rogue/loner Kudos again!

Both of us agree your characters are purrfect, keep up the good work!:3

~R

Name: Scott (or Scotty)

Gender: Tom

Appearance: Sleek medium-length golden ginger fur with slight tabby stripes and a white belly/throat, bright amber eyes (sorry if there’s a better way to explain what he looks like I hope you get the idea)

Clan: Kittypet

Alignment: N/A

Age: 15 moons

History: Scott was content with the company of his twolegs, his friend Olimar (yes he’s named after Captain Olimar from Pikmin), and other kittypets, has his world turned upside-down when he meets a loner named Genesis, a feisty silver and white tabby she-cat with blue eyes. Soon she coaxes him out of his twoleg garden, and before long, he realizes that in addition to the kibble she stole out his bowl, she also stole his heart.

Personality: He’s kind and a bit innocent, and is always happy to listen. Overall a sweet cat, but can take things a bit too personally. He takes being ignored or passed over especially hard. He cares a lot about cats who he considers friends, and would put himself before them. Genesis helps bring out his natural curiosity and adventurous side. He’s a little clumsy, and isn’t exactly the king of self-confidence.

Oh wow what a nice kitty! I enjoy him a lot ;o;

A young cat swept off his feet by a stranger, oh my!
There’s nothing really wrong here, but I think it might be super cute if Scotty was a scottish fold, but feel free to leave him the way he is! :3

The soft Scotty and mysterious Genesis must be in quite a story!
The only thing missing here is how the two get a long with clan cats.

I would also like to point out that since Genesis is a silver tabby as apposed to a grey tabby, she will have to be a former kittypet or be of kittypet ancestry.

This kitty is really great, not terrible at all !

Also I think this is the first kittypet we got, kuddos!

~R

Name: Lightstar
Gender: She-Cat
Appearance: A mainly white calico with green eyes (I keep thinking of her as a Turkish van because I read somewhere they occur in the wild_

Yeah they appear in the wild in Turkey. Unless Boulderclan is in the Middle East or her parents are kittypets, I’d suggest going for an appearance that is mostly white but not quite Turkish van-ish. Perhaps a 6 to 8 on the white spotting area on the cat chart. Very similar without being all breed-specific, yes?
Clan: BoulderClan (Fan Made Clan)
Rank/Alignment: Leader
Age: 33 moons
History: Lightstar was born to Smallfoot and Heavyclaw many moons ago along with her brother  Bearclaw (Bearkit at the time). Her childhood was normal, though he could be seen going to talk to the elders rather than hanging out with her brother primarily due to her brothers hyperactive behavior. Her brother would run around, talk nonstop and ask her a million questions that she really didn’t know anything about. She would hang around her father whenever he was in camp and tried to learn as much about him as possible…and try to hide from Bearkit.

By the time the two were apprentices Lightpaw was glad to get some peace and quiet at last. Her apprenticeship was sort of normal, she took to her duties well but she was never too enthusiastic to do combat training.

Lightpaw didn’t excel in combat training like her brother or his best friend Tigerpaw, she seemed to be far more interested in negotiating with her attacker. On the other hand Tigerpaw seemed far more interested in shredding his attacker to bits rather than having some sort of mercy on them. The mentors of the two very different cats decided to train them side by side in order to help the apprentices learn from each other as well as their mentors. Lightpaw learned when it was important to be aggressive and Tigerpaw learned when to be passive. The two ended up balancing each other out and while them certainly didn’t end up perfect they did learn a lot better with one another than without. When Lightpaw became Lightflower and Tigerpaw became Tigerstorm, the two had grown very close to one another. They even received apprentices at the same time and just like before they trained side by side, learning more and more about one another as they days went on. Eventually after their apprentices became warriors Lighflower was pregnant with Tigerstorm’s kits giving birth to them around the time of the great war. Many innocent lives were lost including the lives of Heavyclaw and Tigerstorm.

Upon hearing her Mates death so soon after her father’s death Lightflower lunged at her leader, Gorsestar but instead of attacking him she screamed at him in grief. She told him about the needless lives that were being lost all because of this war. The war that none of them had started.  Lightflower gave a heartfelt plea of a ceasefire but it fell on deaf ears and the hard headed Clan charged into battle anyways, her kits, who were now apprentices going along with them.  Lightflower ran to the battlefield but by the time she had reached it, the medicine cats had stopped the fighting right when all four leaders and deputies fell to each other’s claws. With four separate signs from StarClan, BoulderClan gained a new leader, Lightflower, much to the surprise of everyone. It seemed that StarClan wanted the Clans to reach a time of peace and the normally peaceful Lightflower was the one to do it.  

Personality: A good way to describe Lightstar overall is very zen, with her calm and collected nature, she isn’t the type to break under pressure. While some might view this as indifference, Lightstar views this as maintaining a very strong demeanor. After all, she is a member of BoulderClan and that meant she had to be strong no matter what the circumstances. She isn’t extremely strict on the rules and is more likely to forgive a cat from her own Clan. Some Cats do think this gives them free reign to do whatever they want but if cross their leader too many times, they will get tick removal duty for many moons.

Lightstar has a bit of a blunt way about her, she doesn’t exactly try to be rude she just can be at times. It’s a common trait for BoulderClan members to be like this, but when it comes from Lightstar it’s a little unexpected.  She is naturally sweet natured and does not like to see her Clan get damaged, which is why she takes every death very seriously.  Even if she wasn’t a family member for these cats she will sit vigil for every single death in her Clan because she cares so much. Her speeches when Clanmates die are from the heart and every bit of it is genuine.  This is why the Great War messed with her so much, she is sensitive cat when it comes to her Clanmates. This is why she can be a little bit standoffish at times because she feels if she gets too close to other cats it will hurt far worse if something happens to them. She’s a very maternal.  Especially those she is close to like her family, if anything happens to her kits, even if they are apprentices now, there is no telling what will happen.

As for the other Clans Lightstar isn’t very keen on starting fights all the time and is more likely to take the more peaceful route around things. Not everyone agrees with her methods and some view her as a coward because of this, but for Lightstar, the less bloodshed the better. She doesn’t want anyone else to feel the pain she had to feel because of a stupid mistake. The last thing she wants is another cat’s mate’s blood on her paws.

(I am so sorry how long this is I just want this to be a Good OC since it’s going to be the first Leader on a Warriors RP site I’m making)

I love your kitty and her story, she’s like a calm team mom. What a cutie. :3 I give her two thumbs up, Good luck with your roleplaying!

~Sunnyspots